A Guide to Discerning Your Vocation
Is God Calling You?
Your vocation is not a Rubik’s Cube you need to solve. It’s the unrepeatable love story God wrote for you from all eternity. He has been waiting your whole life to tell you this story. All you have to do is listen.
What is a Vocation?
The mystery of the contemplative life is woven tightly with the mystery of the Incarnation. When a young man or woman chooses to spend their whole life within the walls of a monastery or convent, hidden from the world for the sake of intimacy with God, it can seem shocking.
But even more shocking is the idea that an infinite God chose to take on a finite human nature, to confine Himself within the limits of the created world—which, to Him, must have seemed far smaller than the bounds of a cloistered monastery.
Men's Communities
A monastic vocation (such as Benedictines or Cistercians) involves a life of prayer and manual labor within a specific monastery, taking a vow of stability. A mendicant vocation (such as Dominicans or Franciscans) involves active preaching and apostolic work in the world. Monks and friars may also be ordained as priests, or serve as lay brothers.
Browse Men's Communities →Women's Communities
While active sisters serve in hospitals and schools, contemplative nuns live a cloistered life. Some observe Papal Cloister (the strictest, rarely leaving the grounds), others observe Constitutional or Monastic Cloister (allowing more integration with guests or specific apostolates).
Browse Women's Communities →How to Discern (The Ignatian Approach)
St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits, gave the Church a masterclass in discernment through his Rules for the Discernment of Spirits. He teaches us that God speaks to us through the movements of our heart—specifically through consolation and desolation.
- Consolation:When your soul is inflamed with love for God, leading to deep peace, joy, and an increase in faith, hope, and charity. This is the Holy Spirit drawing you forward.
- Desolation:When your soul feels heavy, agitated, anxious, or tempted to despair. St. Ignatius warns us never to make or change a decision while in a state of spiritual desolation.
5 Practical Steps to Discernment
1Pray, Silence, and the Sacraments
Since the main goal of discernment is to listen to God, you need to clear the static. Begin by attending daily Mass and Eucharistic Adoration. Carve out at least 20 minutes of complete silence every day for mental prayer. Consider taking up the Liturgy of the Hours.
2Learn and Study
Read about the different charisms of the Church. What moves your heart towards consolation? Is it the deep, silent Carmelite spirituality? The intellectual preaching of the Dominicans? The liturgical stability of the Benedictines? Read the lives of the Saints from these orders.
3Make Space (Disconnect)
Discerning a religious vocation is like dating God. You wouldn't earnestly date two people at the same time—likewise, having a serious romance or being completely consumed by secular dating apps will obscure the subtle voice of the Holy Spirit. Give God a dedicated season (6 to 12 months) of exclusive focus.
4The Lost Art of the Letter
You may have noticed that traditional monks and nuns don't spend a lot of time on the internet. Limiting technology is how they keep their hearts free. This means you may actually have to write a physical, handwritten letter. Do not be afraid to address an envelope to the "Reverend Mother Abbess" or "Father Prior" and explain that you are drawn to their life.
5"Come and See"
You cannot discern your entire vocation inside your own head. Eventually, you have to take a step. Find a community that brings your heart peace and arrange a visit or a "Come and See" retreat. Experiencing the daily rhythm of the bells, the liturgy, and the community life will provide profound clarity.
Begin Your Journey
Explore our growing directory of traditional Catholic monasteries, convents, parishes, and schools. Find the community where God is calling you.